2007-12-14
Risk
diamondsky usually posts every year a theme that she wants to continue throughout the year. I really like that idea and I'm going to make one of my own.
For the upcoming year I want my theme to be connections.
Overall, I feel quite lonely, both at school and at home. I think that is due to a lack of connections. So this year I want to start new connections with people. I haven't done this because I'm shy and hate the awkward small talk. I hate the meaningless of it all. But I realized that you have to start with the meaningless relationship first before it ever develops into something meaningful. You have to put up with the small talk until it becomes more natural and you begin to open up more, get inside jokes, etc. I had to endure months of that with J, and it resulted in one of the best friendships I've ever had.
Along with starting new connections, I want to nurture old ones. Call up friends, send them facebook comments, call them up on breaks and visit them. Hang out with them, even if you think it might be awkward. You have to get through the awkward stuff before it ever gets "normal."
If I ever want to form meaningful relationships I'm going to have to try and put myself out there.
unchallenged at 11:04 p.m.